Happiness/Gratitude Check In Week 3

New haircut. Much better shape and not too short!

Haircut from the back!

Nice side view--a good shape!

I am feeling better already!

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. * Lucille Ball

Check In:

Monday: I have been feeling an amazing lightness today. I think that finally getting back into the studio this past weekend cured me of some blahs that I had been experiencing lately. Sometimes I feel (as my Mother might have said) like a bump on a log. Walking outside at lunch was invigorating. It was sunny, clear, although cool. I have always been a "sun person." Hawaii was a good place to live for that. I have not been the type to be effected by the rain though. Cloudy and rainy days make me want to coccoon and be cozy inside.

Tuesday: Working fulltime has been a very nice thing for me. I feel less stressed about the time I have to get things done. I can just do it without worrying about what time it is. I have really been enjoying visiting with the volunteers. One of the reasons I needed to go fulltime was that I did not have the time to go over to the store and visit and help the volunteers. I didn't have time to get to know them. This is changing. Feeling more busy due to working longer each day feels better than getting home at 3:30 and watching TV and drinking coffee in the late afternoon. I am happy about that realization. In the spring/summer, I am sure that I will miss the early home arrival as I tended to go outside. I'll still be able to do that--only later in the day.

Wednesday: I have been looking in the mirror lately and feeling I really needed to do something with my hair. I wait 5 weeks between haircuts and felt 2 weeks ago I wanted to call my hairdresser. When I was telling Tracey what I wanted (a change and more shape--but not too short.) She said "Yep, you need a haircut, you're a hair farmer." I laughed and asked "A hair farmer?" She retorted, "Yes, you really grow hair..." This was an interesting concept. I felt that she was singling me out as a master gardener or something! LOL

Thursday: My tulip bulbs are pushing through! There also is a little color in my primrose bed! I love watching spring awaken. It is rather amazing how you can literally watch things grow from day to day. My front beds along my driveway have both red and yellow tulips planted in them. It was my plan to buy a couple bags each year to increase the amount and replace older bulbs. I haven't done that the last 2 years due to the lack of extra money. Last year my friend, Susan, gave me a Costco flat of primroses for my birthday, so I was able to increase the primrose bed nicely! For a couple of weeks the beds are very dramatic. I can't wait for the show. I do need to get out there and weed. It's jusst too cold.

Friday: Yesterday, I took my regular day off for my PAC Art Group meeting. After the meeting, I took my female cat, Bella, to the vet. She was injured in August and I am embarrassed to admit that I could not afford to take her to the vet. How many times have you gone to the vet and $1000.00 later you don't get your cat back or you do and you no longer have the money? This is a poor attitude, I know. Well. $300.00 later and I now know what is wrong with her. In lay terms, she has a jammed last disc on her back. It's just a little off. She was probably stepped on and she has managed to learn to get around fine. She isn't in pain any more. He gave her a major dose of anti-inflamatory and said that if it works, she should start walking better on her little back paws instead of on the big ones. Time will tell...

Saturday: I feel like I am not in control lately. It's not that I am living out of control, it's that I am not in the driver seat. This is happening on so many fronts that it is really effecting me. I guess the world is saying, "Lenall, you may be an alpha female but you can't always be the driver!" It's happening in my art group, it's happening at work, it's happening with a good girlfriend and with 2 different men. WOW. I guess I'm not happy about that. How can I spin it into a positive situation? What's good about not being in control? I guess, I'm learning self control , self discipline at being a more passive, accepting individual. I am learning and accepting the fact that it's not all about me and my wants and needs. I am learning to hold back as opposed to letting it all be out there. It's possible that people might like this person better, but I don't...but I guess I could be grateful for the lesson in humility.

Sunday: I got up at 5:00 am yesterday and went to the computer to see if I could figure out why my Turbo Tax e-file got rejected. I figured out what the problem was, but try as I would, I could not fix it. I called my brother, Paul, around 7:15 and he walked me through it and even he could not get rid of the issue. We decided that I needed to re-post the information into another return and then resend. That was accomplished by 12:00 am and it was accepted by this morning. I am grateful for that. This was my first experience with Turbo Tax. I have been going to H&R Block since 99. Couldn't afford it this year. This was a good process for me.

So ends week 3.